It’s the day after the official last day of school, although I’ve been free of school commitments since Monday. However, I still have loose ends to tie for my practicum, and an endless list of student org matters to be concerned about.
As I have pointed out in the past, I am most prolific during the supposedly most stressful phases of my life. I’m not exactly at wits end, at this point, but I do have more things to do than I have the patience to. That always somehow brings me to my most loved form of self-care and creativity: writing.
In light of this, I have decided to take up publishing some of my old works – with revisions, of course. How accurate the works are varies. In some cases, I simply came across an idea and felt like writing about it. In other cases, I write about things that really happened and emotions that I personally experienced tied to those events. This doesn’t mean that one is any less “true” than the other. I am of the philosophy that there’s an underlying truth to fiction – whether the truth is mine or yours doesn’t matter, and I guess that’s what makes the truth ours. There’s just something universal about it.
Given that we’re dealing with such ~feelsy~ topics, it should be no surprise, then, that some of the content may compromise the image some people have of me. In fact, I’ve been considering starting a separate blog where I can write under a pseudonym, and no one would be the wiser. Isn’t it funny, that in order to let our true selves come out, we have to wear a mask?
But I’m not so scared of letting people construct an image of me that also has emotional elements to it (even if I’ve received comments about how I can be so “detached”, and “above drama”, the latter probably well-meaning but a little naive). However, I do like my privacy, and I also don’t like people knowing what exactly is going on in my mind, especially in the present. I think that’s why I waited so long to publish these works, as well. So that I could at least distance myself, and so that I could change up the chronological order and no one would know the better. As I said, they’re old works, and I will insist on their dating to be left a mystery. I intend to publish the works in no particular with context just clear enough for the reader to understand what is going on in the poem or essay. In fact, I may even use third person when explaining the works. Perhaps the stories can be “solved” and strung together, but then you’d have to know me really, really well and be pretty dedicated to putting it all together. I doubt anyone would bother, but the invitation is there for anyone. I like leaving doors open like that.
The works are a mishmash of essays and poems, and I think that there’s still a lot I have to figure out, concerning technical matters such as formatting on this platform, to “Does this word work?” to “What exactly do I even mean?”.These works are ones that I put together during the heat of the moment, or against the flame of inspiration, but I do intend to review them for clarity and also to bring them up to my standards if I have to. I should also warn you that a lot of these works, despite being “reviewed” still feel unfinished, like there’s something more I could still add, something more I could edit. But then again, I suppose that’s what anyone dealing with art would feel like. In other words, if something is unclear, just know that it might be unclear to me, too. But I’d love to discuss these things with anyone willing to ask. 🙂
Hope you enjoy! 😀