Breaking Point

Decided to publish more of my old stuff. I might just turn this into a series of my old stuff haha.

I wrote this back in junior year in high school. The issue doesn’t bother me at all now, and the guy in the poem and I are really good friends now. It was mostly in my head anyway haha. But at the time it was pretty real and consuming. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I felt so bad that I got up just to start writing – and I don’t really do that. 

Hanging on to the paper thin possibility

‘Cause I have no guts to fall into reality

I’d rather drink the sweet poison of a lie

Than swallow the truth that makes me die

 

With the last flare I walked through the grand ball

Dressed as well as one and all

I danced and danced to catch your eye

But you neither said hello nor good-bye

 

Rivers are cried and hopes are blown out

I chain my wrists and stitch my mouth

Build whatever dam it takes to contain

The tsunami of misery and of pain

 

But no, I can fool myself no longer

I break and I wish I were stronger

The mask I wear is worn and old

And I do not plan to form another mould

 

The feeling is so familiar; it’s all I’ve ever known

To force a grin, my hurts never shown

Of course I’m happy when I know that you are too

But I can’t stop myself from feeling the way I do

 

Just like I have finally learned joy

I now know what it’s like to cry for a boy

Not any of the wisdom that I have gained

Can remedy what I have done in vain

 

I swear I am on the brink of insanity

And the thought has some hospitality

Like a car crash my world is shattered

And now I float in cold space where nothing matters

 

Thorns envelope my bruised skin

And my heart bleeds from within

A rejected mummy pushed from the verge

And rescued only by the predator birds

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