10 March 2014
You can’t wait for summer to begin.
I’d give up the world to keep it from coming.
A couple of months ago, I’d always glance at the clock, begging its gears to turn faster. Everything was about what would happen next. I kept wishing for the next day to come, and then the next, and the next. I’d wish away days to get to those two hours you’d simply sit by my side. I’d wish away hours for those ten minutes in between classes that we got to talk, even if it was just you asking me about homework, or whatever mundane thing there was to chatter about. Whatever miniscule fact I learned about you, whatever trifling development there was between us, I’d celebrate.
These precious moments WERE my days, the highlight of every morning, the last thoughts before I slumbered and dreamt. But to you they must be like a few grains of sand in an hour glass – small, just an insignificant portion of more, just passing through to be followed by numberless others. You were my sunshine, even on your cloudiest days. I was just your seatmate.
Even so, for those few seconds I got to be with you, I’d be happy. And when they would end, tomorrow was another chance to talk to you, to be with you, and it could NOT come fast enough.
Now the year draws to a close.
After one more tomorrow, you will never be my seatmate again, you will never be in my class again.
We will never again exchange knowing glances when the teacher says something.
We will never again text or chat each other up to ask what tomorrow’s assignment is.
We will never again stay up late with each other cramming a paper.
We will never again battle with short stories or poetry together, or help each other out with our activities, or joke about our teachers, or read each other’s work, or squabble about little nothings, or tease each other, or trade stories, or share secrets, or welcome each other into one another’s world.
After one more tomorrow, the treasured little that we have slowly grown to be will fade. I will not see you – even if I’ll be in school every day, you won’t be there. You will have no reason to contact me, and neither I you. I could send you messages out of the blue, even if they might have the same chance of connecting to you as throwing paper planes out my window. Chances are, when June comes, we will become nothing more than two acquaintances who only smile and wave at each other when they pass, in a hurry to get to wherever their schedules have now destined them to be.
This will be your summer, but like the leaves that have been cascading all over campus as our last days dwindle, I know this will be my autumn.
I was a fool to beg time to go so fast.
Even if I COULD give up the world now, the clock still ticks on.
My summer is on the verge of ending.
I’ve finally run out of tomorrows.
One of the better sappy works of mine. Now that time has distanced myself from how things were and I’m living in the present, I can finally soothe my ego and publish these things online haha.