Don’t Worry

Don’t worry about losing your hair,

Because I will only have more of your forehead to kiss.

Don’t worry about getting wrinkles,

I will make sure they are laughter lines.

Don’t worry about papery skin,

I will trace your veins with my fingers.

Don’t worry about swollen knuckles,

They will fit my own perfectly.

Don’t worry about silvering hair,

I will call the moon envious.

Don’t worry about an aching back,

I will undo the knots.

Don’t worry about losing your teeth,

Your smile will never change.

Don’t worry about peeing your pants,

You will never lose my respect.

Don’t worry about your failing knees,

I will never stray from your side.

Don’t worry about losing memories,

We will make new ones every day.

Don’t worry about hospital visits,

We will laugh at magazines in the waiting room.

Don’t worry about medicines,

I will take snap shots of your funny faces when you take them.

Don’t worry about the waiting,

We will solve crosswords together.

Don’t worry about the test results,

They will never stop me from holding you.

Don’t worry about what we’ll tell them,

I will put on a brave face.

Don’t worry about staying in bed,

I will read you stories and fluff your pillows.

Don’t worry about doctor bills,

I will never pawn our wedding ring.

Don’t worry about the slowing pulse,

I will lay beside you and listen to you breathing.

Don’t worry about leaving me first;

I will love you

I will love you

I will love you

Note: Instead of dashes between stanzas, there should have only been a blank space. But wordpress was not cooperating. So this will have to do.


Why am I investing my time into you?

Why am I investing my time into you?

What do I gain? There are few things that you’ve said to me directly to make me any wiser. There are few things that you’ve done directly that restored my faith in humanity. I haven’t learned any new philosophies from you, I haven’t learned anything new about the arts or the sciences. You have no quirks that pleasantly amuse me, you aren’t hilarious. Being with you does nothing to my social status. Your example does not reflect how I want to lead my social life. I can’t order you around. I can’t bully you too much. You don’t even inflate my ego. And I feel hesitant about challenging you.

And I know friendship shouldn’t be about those things. Friendship should be about being able to trust. Friendship is about having someone who’s got your back. Friendship is about having someone to share life with.

Is it that ideal that drives me to you?

Everyone wants to reach the ideal. Everyone wants to achieve that and be “noble”. Much like how we’re willing to suffer and die for love, because we’re convinced that true love can stand whatever sorrows are thrown our way.

My parents recently told me to hitch my carriage to fast horses. I wouldn’t consider you a fast horse. But just because you aren’t the fastest doesn’t mean you’re not worth going on a run with.

Indirectly, you’ve taught me so much about myself. You’ve taught me about love, about mercy, about honesty, about trust, about feelings, about understanding, about limits, about freedom, about courage, about joy, about perseverance, about respect, about my faults, about my fears, about what I believe in, about what I want in life. I’m so much more human now, thanks to you.

And maybe that’s why I still want to be with you. Because you’ve brought me so much closer to that humanistic ideal. You’re probably one of the greatest miracles in my life, one of the miracles that my heart just can’t seem to appreciate completely just yet. You are my greatest example of agapic love. But I think that’s what still bothers me.